Hear me roar!

Due date, hear me roar!

Thursday was the day Harper was expected. But, as you may or may not know, she is a tiny little bundle of the unexpected. This last (almost) month has been full. We love being her parents and have learned so much already. So, I thought I would pass on a few of those things even though it may or may not be meaningless to you. I'll just give you a list.

1. I am still not a morning person.
I know you're probably shocked to find that I wasn't one to begin with, but if you've ever had to wake me up or share a room with me...it isn't pretty. And it's not getting any better just because I have this sweet, incredibly cute baby to get up for. Mornings are still lame in my world.

2. Napping all the time sounds better than it feels.
I like naps. In college, my friends and I heard about this man whose sleep cycle consisted of sleeping 30 minutes every 4 hours. I thought that sounded like a good idea. It's like napping 6 times a day and you don't miss out on very much. Well, I have now experienced a sleep pattern similar and, let me tell you, that man was tired. A day full of naps is ungreat...

3. Entertainment is not necessary.
You'd think that after staring at someone who only eats and sleeps for a few weeks, one would be bored. But let me tell you, I could stare at this kid all day, every day. She never gets old. And I can't imagine what it's going to be like when she actually does something else... like talks! Or even maintains eye contact. Hours and hours of fun!

4. Purpose is captivating.
Having something (in this case someone) that gives you motivation is divine. Parenthood is not just "be fruitful and multiply." It is purpose. We have the authority and privilege of raising this world changer. We've been commissioned to care for, love, and disciple one of His children. That makes the lack of sleep and obsession with bodily functions all worthwhile.

These lessons might not change THE world, but they've sure changed MY world. And in the words of the Notorious B.I.G: if you don't know, now you know.

The mother load

Today is Mother's day. My first one. I kinda feel like I cheated though, since Harper is technically not supposed to be out here yet. But this post is not about me. It's about the other mothers in my life.
You see, I come from a long line of mothers. We all do really... But my line is exceptional. I have been blessed with not only a wonderful mom, but with incredible women who have mothered me in many ways. Let me introduce you to some of them.
First and most importantly, there is my mother, Sarah. The woman who gave me life and taught me how to live. As long as I can remember, she has made sure I know how much I was wanted and ordained by God in our family. She is the biggest servant I know, teaching me to value and honor others above myself. And thankfully for my future church, she taught me how to be a pastor's wife full of grace and humility. There are not enough ways to say thank you for all that and that is only the beginning of her impact in my life. I love you, mom!
Going backwards in line, you have my grandmother (Grandma) and great grandmother (Mamaw) on my mom's side. I spent a lot of time at their house growing up. They taught me what love and resilience can do in a person. They were strong women, but so tender and gracious. They raised my mom to be the woman she is and for that I eternally grateful.
Moving to the other side of my family, my dad's mom, Grandma. My earliest memory in life is of her putting me to bed. I spent countless hours playing board games, making crafts, and reading books with her. She taught me that when you love someone, you spend time with them and you're not afraid to be silly with them. Though she has seen many hard years, she is so sensitive to God and aware of others. I love that about her.
Next up is the newest mother. My mother-in-law, Marcia. She raised three crazy and passionate boys and did it with a smile on her face. I have the pleasure of being married to her middle son and I can attest that she did an amazing job raising him. He can laugh at anything, including himself because she taught him to never take things too seriously. And she is one of the most generous people I know. Not everyone has a great MIL, so I am beyond blessed to have her in my life.
Lastly there are women who have discipled me, knowingly or unknowingly, teaching me the values of intentional living, discipling your kids, and laying your life down for the church. They are my sister, Allison, Tracie Phillips, Blair Gulley, Elizabeth Griffin, and Carrie Bach. I cannot adequately thank these women for their investment in my life.
As you can see, today is a day of rich reminders of God's faithfulness to me. It is also a challenge to me to love and lay down my life for not only Harper, but everyone that God has placed around me. I want my legacy to outlast my life, just as these women have done.
Happy Mother's Day!

2am

I have always been a night owl. Call it genetics (like mother, like daughter), youngest child syndrome, FOMO (fear of missing out), or whatever you want, but I like to stay up late. College was great for me because that's pretty much what everyone does. Things that happen after 10pm in college: go to Common Grounds; start studying; drive to West for kolaches; start a movie; IHOP; and many others. That was the life. Fast forward to me working 12-hour shifts at the hospital and my love of late nights is replaced with a love for *hopefully* reading in bed for a few minutes before I fall asleep. At 9pm. Not so exciting anymore.
But lately I've had a revival of 2am fun. And it all started last Saturday night around midnight.
I went to bed early because I was tired from my shift and my legs were swollen (see instagram for proof) and because Jake was out celebrating a friend's birthday. When he got home at midnight, I got up to use the bathroom. And there it happened. Pop and gush. My water broke. Being an uncertain first-timer, I just went back to bed. After an hour of semi-regular contractions I thought I better time them. They were about 7-8 minutes apart. I woke Jake up at 2am and he sprung into action, calling the doc and packing a bag. I was a little more reluctant, not wanting to be that girl. You know, the one who goes to the hospital a million times because she thinks she's in labor... Turns out I was in labor. I was admitted to the hospital at about 3:15. I was only 1cm dilated, but 90% effaced. All I had to do was get to 10cm and I'd be set. We made some calls and our parents started the trek to Waco. At 4:30, I was still at 1cm, so they started me on pitocin and I said no to an epidural, in hopes of an all natural birth.
Over the next two and a half hours, my contractions got more regular (read painful), so I changed positions a couple of times and had a Popsicle. My parents got to Waco around 7. At about 7:15, I was having a mental debate about whether or not I would make it another couple of hours in this amount of pain. I decided (still in my head) that I needed an epidural. I felt delirious when, all of the sudden, I had a major urge to push. My nurse was in the room (thank God!), so I informed her I needed to push and then proceeded to do so. She told me to stop because I wasn't fully dilated, but that she'd check me. To everyone's surprise, especially my doc who wasn't at the hospital yet, I was fully dilated. Suddenly my room was a beehive of activity, everyone frantically trying to get ready for the delivery. Meanwhile, my rock, Jake, was at my head calmly helping me breathe through each contraction and holding my hand. I wouldn't have made it without him. There was no time for an epidural, but by then I didn't care. I just wanted to push! My doc arrived and after 10 minutes of pushing, Harper Ella Griffin made her debut! Though she came a little early, she is perfectly healthy (5lbs 14oz and 18 1/2 inches long) and obviously ready to take on the world.
So, now my 2am consists of quality time with my new favorite person in the world. And I wouldn't trade it for all the kolaches in West.

for your viewing pleasure...

If you want to laugh, here you go.

Stake in the Ground from Antioch Community Church on Vimeo.

Enjoy.

Abigail

Greetings from sunny Dallas, TX!

Ever heard of a babymoon? It's a magical vacation. A wonderland of fun. You can sleep in, eat really good food, play mini-golf, and imagine how your life will change in just a short time. The only thing that differs about this trip is that one person must be pregnant. I want to tell you all minute by minute how awesome this vacay has been, but I think pictures will do it more justice. You're welcome :)

This is how our vacation started. Sitting in the hallway and listening to hail pound my parent's house. No damage and no tornadoes, so it wasn't too bad.

Paciugo: gelato or heaven, whatever you want to call it

33 weeks

picnic at the park

batting cages

Lifesize Jenga! It was so fun... even though I lost both games.

mini golfing. We both made holes-in-one. Thanks for all those golf lessons, dad!

No trip to Dallas would be complete without Sprinkles!

In-n-Out. Enough said.

Oddfellows for brunch. This is Jake's meal, Duck Hash. So yummy. Not pictured is my incredible red velvet pancake. We will be returning as soon as possible. If you live in Dallas, check it out. It's in the Bishop Arts District.

Planetarium. We ate freeze-dried ice cream and watched a movie about the cosmic colors. And became astronauts, of course.

So there you have it. A physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually refreshing week. We would really recommend this to anyone about to have a baby. I mean, we can't wait to have another baby just for the trip.

Just kidding. Sort of.

Abigail

Control Freak

I have some callouses on my hands. Not the callouses of hard and long-term training, like a gymnast or a guitarist. I wish these callouses said something about my work ethic. No, these are new. These callouses are that of a control freak.

See, here's the deal. I'm having a baby in a couple of months and when I walk my dog, Ruby, she really walks me. I decided that this would not do when I'm trying to push a stroller and "walk" my dog. My plan: retrain my dog to act properly on a leash. The only problem is that Ruby is a bit stronger than I am. But I have a will. On our walks, I would hold the leash so tightly that my hands were rubbed raw. Thus the callouses. If you can't see where this is going, I'll spell it out for you. My dog was winning. My attempt at retraining my dog was failing miserably. I can only hold the leash so tightly. I'm weak(er than my dog).

No, really, I am just weak. And this led me to a conclusion. This situation happens probably daily in my life. I decide that something is not the way it should be and then I try to man-handle it until I'm satisfied with the results. And I usually end up failing miserably. I'll try again and again to make it work, but my heart just gets calloused. Why? Because I am weak.

Sounds like a vicious cycle. Thankfully, I've discovered an exit ramp. Are you ready for this?

Let go.

But it's not really that easy is it? I couldn't just let go of Ruby's leash. She would run away, especially if she saw a cat. So, we got a training collar and then I let go. It's amazing the difference the proper equipment can make. I mean, Ruby is practically training herself and my hands are becoming soft again! In my case, the proper equipment can be something as simple as a mindset to getting outside perspective and help. When a situation arises that I think won't do and my insides scream, "control, don't let go," I turn to a thankfulness mindset. I thank God that he has prepared me for such a time as this. Or I thank Him that He will provide what I lack. He will give strength where I'm weak. And He will give counsel where my wisdom falls short. This is what makes it possible for me to let go. Because, really, my hands are just trying to wrestle control from His. When I let go, I get to see God move.

So, I'm still a recovering control freak, but one day at a time I'm seeing that letting go is far superior to getting callouses.

Abigail

Days like Today

Cloudy, gray, misty, and hopeful.

Or maybe your day is defeating and boring.

Or monotonous, lonely and uninspired.

Days like today look a certain way. Dreary. Mundane. Foggy.

But what if our eyes are lying to us? The saying goes that what we see is what we get, but what if that's really just having tunnel vision? The saying should go that what we choose to see is what we get. This is perspective, not just what is in front of our face. It's overcast today, but does that mean the sun isn't shining? You're feeling defeated today, but does that mean you aren't victorious?

Hope. This should be our perspective. Hope is an anchor. It's our North Star in a storm. Hope helps us see our reality through God's lens. It is a greater truth. Your days may be mundane, but the greater truth is that you are created for abundance. Today is cloudy, but above those clouds is the sun.

And that's why I love days like today. It reminds me that there is something greater that maybe I just can't see. It reminds me to check my perspective at hope. It challenges me to believe in the unseen. What will you choose to see today?

And now a short life update for those wondering...

Third trimester life has begun. We have registered. I'm beginning to think about the birthing plan (I'll just inform Jake, mostly, because he gets a little woozy at the thought...) and baby girl is most definitely a mover and a shaker. Speaking of "baby girl," she actually does have a name and it is....

This is a picture from 23 weeks, so I look (and feel!) a bit bigger now.

Jake and I are continuing the process of building a team of people to support us financially and prayerfully as we prepare to move to Baton Rouge this summer. If you want to be part of our update list, please send me your email and physical mailing address! We would love to hear from you. My email address is at the top of this page.

One last thing, as I was writing this post, the sun came out. The greater truth prevailed again!

Abigail